LONG READ Dave Kilcoyne: ‘These days, you can’t really throw a punch because you’ll be caught on the drone footage!’

Dave Kilcoyne did not get his Thomond Park send-off, this season, but did get to go out in style. Suited, booted and bow-tied, ‘Killer’ brought the house down at the Rugby Players Ireland awards at Aviva Stadium. Dragging host Barry Murphy out of sight from any teleprompters, Kilcoyne held court for 10 minutes and reminded everyone what a character Irish rugby is losing.

Kilcoyne had them rolling in the aisles with a tale about being a not-so-mature student at University of Limerick, impersonating police officers (gardaí), stealing booze and getting a mighty scolding when genuine law enforcement screeched around the corner – “Ah here, this one is 28!”

There is more than a hint of John Belushi about Kilcoyne. The loveable rogue. Funniest guy in the room. The one that makes a ‘Why not… ?’ suggestion then shoots the camera a look as chaos descends, all around him.

“Thanks, everyone, for coming to my retirement party!”

Kilcoyne is one of five Munster mainstays that will be departing the province, this summer. He is heading straight into retirement with Peter O’Mahony and Stephen Archer, while Conor Murray and Rory Scannell may play on a while, yet. The 36-year-old hangs up his boots after 220 senior outings for Munster and 56 caps for Ireland. O’Mahony, Archer and Murray had all the photographs and plaudits as they played the season to a conclusion. An Achilles tendon tear, just before Christmas, was the final game for Kilcoyne. The loosehead’s last time packing down was in a gritty 22-19 win over Ulster, in Belfast.

Kilcoyne insists there was no frustration at missing one last run-out. “The frustrating part was coming back from my shoulder (in late 2023),” he says. “I was hellbent on doing another year. Then my Achilles went, so I knew then. I had time to process it, back at Christmas. I’ve been very fortunate to have played so long. And when you’re not able to play the way you want to play, you know it’s time.

“I’ve known a lot of lads that have been very unfortunate and had to bow out early. Someone like Dan Leavy, who I’d be very close to. He was cut down in his prime. For me to get to 36 feels lucky. I know I eventually went out through an injury but, for me, if someone had said to me, as a 19 or 20-year-old in the academy, that I could play until I was 36, I’d have bitten their hand off. So, I look back with a lot of gratefulness. I didn’t get to walk around and do a lap of honour, at the end. But to play for so long was the real honour.”

I got back and played against Castres and Ulster. Then the Achilles just went. You’re 36. I had battled so hard to get back and then, when I did that, I just knew.

Kilcoyne went into the 2023 World Cup as back-up loosehead to Andrew Porter. He had played three times during the Grand Slam win, earlier that year. He puts that Six Nations sweep right up alongside the United Rugby Championship title Munster would claim in Cape Town, three months later. Kilcoyne was 34 at that World Cup – definitely on the back nine of his rugby career but with so much more he wanted to achieve. His final game in the green jersey would end in that quarter final heartbreak against New Zealand. He did not know it at the time, but Kilcoyne would only play five more times after that night in Paris.

There was a neck operation needed in 2022, after Kilcoyne temporarily lost power to one arm after a scrum collapse. He feared that would be it for his career. Making it back to play big parts in trophy wins for Munster and Ireland means the world.

“When I broke my shoulder and had to get an operation on that, it was tricky enough,” says Kilcoyne. “But I got back and played against Castres and Ulster. Then the Achilles just went. That’s when you know. There was no other way about it. You’re 36. I had battled so hard to get back and then, when I did that, I just knew.”

The neck injury scare for not the only time it looked like professional rugby and Dave Kilcoyne were not going to mix. Ian Sherwin, the old academy manager at Munster, was not keen, back in 2009. Ian Costello, interim head coach this season, fought Kilcoyne’s corner. It would be another two years before his senior bow, but he was inside the Munster tent. He went from cheering on Marcus Horan, John Hayes, Tony Buckley and Jerry Flannery to packing down with, or against, them in training.

“You quickly realise when you’re in there,” says Kilcoyne, “even after one big session, lads are flying into you, and you’re flying into lads. You want that starting jersey. I was always like that. No one wants to be holding tackle pads. You obviously do your little integration period, when you’re in the academy but as soon as you get on the pitch, you want to get to that level. If you’re in with Munster and Ireland, everyone wants to be starting. I wouldn’t say you stop idolising them, but you quickly put that to one side and focus on yourself. You focus on trying to be the man.”

I grew up absolutely idolising Paulie. Going over the Thomond Park wall to watch him play. All of a sudden, you’re training with him. We used to travel down to Cork together, and we became great friends.

Perhaps there was one exception – Paul O’Connell.

“We went to the same school (Ardscoil Rís), so I grew up absolutely idolising Paulie. Going over the Thomond Park wall to watch him play. All of a sudden, you’re training with him. We used to travel down to Cork together, and we became great friends. We used to train together, on weights. He was always such a great trainer, and I was just trying to keep up with him. You’re trying to push the standards and show off to him, as the young bull. There was mutual friendship and respect there. It was brilliant to have that relationship with him, you know? I probably did wreck his head with questions. You’re young and eager to learn, be a sponge and take it all in from him.”

“I remember days down at Musgrave Park,” Kilcoyne recalls. “Our ‘B’ lads would be going up against the likes of Marcus, Fla, Hayes, Mushie (Tony Buckley), Paulie and all the lads. There would be an unmerciful amount of scraps at training. But, then, they were probably getting towards the end of their cycle and it was up to us lads to take the jersey off them, if we wanted it.”

“We don’t see too many fights anymore. The way it has gotten so professional, these days, you can’t really throw a punch because you’ll be caught on the drone footage. There was no drone footage back in the day, when we got started!”

There was a famous stand-off, too, between the young bucks and the older heads, on a squad day out, over who would sit down the back of the bus. After being goaded into taking action by Doug Howlett, O’Connell sent the heavies to clear the likes of O’Mahony, Murray, Mike Sherry and Tommy O’Donnell. Kilcoyne claims he went untouched. “Oh, there was no challenging me,” he declares. “I walked straight to the back of the bus, day one, and I was always there! I never had to challenge for my spot. I was straight in, and there for 15 years.”

Those first two years with the academy, getting club minutes with U.L Bohemians and mixing it with the senior squad, hold so many special memories for the Limerick native. “Me and Conor lived together when we were in the academy. We’ve been through it all together. Pete and Archie, too. We played B&I Cup together, academy together and all broke through within a year of each other. They all would be my best friends. You’re with them every day, all day.

“But rugby is cyclical. There is a new generation of players coming through – there’s lads in the corner doing TikTok dances while the four grandfathers are over the other side, drinking cups of tea or coffee! Talking about our weekends or whatever sport was on.”

To finally win the URC (in 2023) was a lovely little carrot, especially for the older lads who had been with the team a long time. To have something for Munster… a lot of those lads really deserved it. It was brilliant.

Kilcoyne made his senior Munster debut in December 2011 but was part of the wider squad that claimed the Magners League title, earlier that year. There would be a 12-year wait to bridge that trophy gap with league final defeats to Scarlets and Glasgow some of the toughest to take. “Leone Nakarawa caused havoc (for Glasgow),” Kilcoyne recalls. “He had about eight arms, that day. Offloading left, right and centre!”

Kilcoyne’s first Test cap is his proudest moment in rugby. “Everyone grows up wanting to play for Ireland,” he states. “I was 23 coming on to play South Africa at Aviva Stadium. A surreal moment. Your family are there. You’re singing the anthem. All of a sudden, a whole life-body of work comes to fruition and your dreams come true. Just incredible.”

“To finally win the URC (in 2023) was a lovely little carrot, especially for the older lads who had been with the team a long time,” he adds. “To have something for Munster… a lot of those lads really deserved it. It was brilliant.

“We went down to South Africa, near the end of the season, a little under the radar. All of a sudden, you get a couple of wins and you build momentum. We went on a good streak. Sport can be like that. You can be struggling, struggling then things just start to click, you start figuring things out, get lads back from injury, and one or two big wins build belief.

His pinnacle was the 2023 Grand Slam. “I got my 50^th cap that year, against France,” he recalls. “It was an awesome team, and the same for coaches and management. It was a brilliant environment. Ultimately, if things are right at the top, it generally filters down. Everything was clicking.”

After that URC title win, two years ago, the squad’s older players got together and vowed to stick around a while. They held the jersey and it was up to the new young bulls to take it off them. That was what Paulie and the lads had taught them.

It was definitely Kilcoyne’s mindset until ‘the wheels fell off the bus’. He adds, “I was always of a mind to play until I could play no more. That’s ultimately my fate. It’s the nature of sport. Time waits for no man.”

My retirement will hit my parents harder than it will hit me. They’ll have to find a new social scene. But it has been brilliant for them. They’ve got to travel the world. They’re so proud of you, as well.

His retirement was confirmed with a statement, nice images and glowing statements from those that coached him and played with him. There were lovely messages, too, from former teammates like Lifemi Mafi and Nick Williams, and old coach Rob Pennet.

“My retirement will hit my parents harder than it will hit me,” Kilcoyne jokes. “They’ll have to find a new social scene. But it has been brilliant for them. They’ve got to travel the world. They’re so proud of you, as well. Going along to Thomond Park, Aviva Stadium and World Cups, it is stuff of dreams for them. My two brothers, Alan and Padraig, and their wives and kids. It has been a huge part of all our lives. They’re incredible supporters. I genuinely mean it when I say I probably wouldn’t have been able to do any of this if it wasn’t for them.

“My father dropping me out to Bohs. When you’re a young lad, they’re going to all your games. Making so many sacrifices. Giving up holidays to come with us. Taking days off work to make sure we were at training or games. And then to actually go on and play for Ireland, and give them big days out at The Shelbourne, Aviva. It’s been great for them. They’ve had an incredible life, as they’ve always said, and spent some of their happiest times there. They’ll continue on and continue being loyal supporters. It obviously won’t be the same but they got to live the dream, as well.”

Would Kilcoyne like to be starting out again, if time and tides allowed?

“I wouldn’t change it, to be honest,” he says. Camera phones and social media weren’t as big, when I was starting out. Lads could probably be themselves a bit more, without some fella taking a picture or video.

“But don’t get me wrong. I remember first coming into that dressing room, back then, and we trained like absolute animals. Our training sessions were so hard, our weights sessions were ferocious. Some of our pre-seasons, back in the day, I found way tougher than now. There was not the level of sports science that you have now, but I could be out on the pitch for two, two-and-a-half hours. Now, you look at it and it’s probably madness. That was the way it was.”

“There’s the general day-to-day that you’ll miss,” Kilcoyne reflects. “You’re surrounded by 40 of your best friends, in there. The craic in there was unreal.”